Should I maybe do a Bali Haiku?
I love Bali Hai
It Is The Immigrant Song
Downtown Stuck In Head
Seriously, the show mostly speaks for itself. It's all based on a true story. Although, I'll tell you the best place to find Musical Oddities: shoddity.com
That's where I got both Johnny Puleo and the version of Poor People of Paris I played.
But get this, the guy who requested Downtown as William S. Burroughs, he didn't like the version so well. It was too produced, he wanted Burroughs to just recite it. Exactly how he didn't request it.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
The Lighter Side of School Shootings (recap)
So, what do you think? Was it too soon?
I didn't really mean to go off on the shooting in quite that way. Obviously, the hypocrisy of the National Tragedy vs. all the other comparable "unimportant" tragedy was something that had me riled up all week, especially after the White House Correspondent's Dinner. But it wasn't until I was putting the show together that I realized I had a couple other songs that were songs about actual school shootings.
When it hit me how nearly everyone of a certain age has sung, "I Don't Like Mondays" including most of the people who have lost their minds over this National Tragedy, the absurdity of that was like a slap in the face and I had to push hard in the opposite direction.
So far, no one has actually complained but I wouldn't exactly blame them if they did. It may have been a bit much.
I had thought of the Hey Cho bit as soon as I heard his name. I thought of another similar parody too but had decided early on that either one would be too insensitive even for me. If it wasn't for the Sunday chat shows and the over analysis of the whole thing, the politicizing of it by both sides, I would've just made it a short little pre-best of show.
I was pretty well whupped from the extremely harsh work week. I really had planned on not mentioning the shootings at all. The best laid plans, eh?
Anyway, I'm sorry if it was too soon for anyone but it is true that there will be a time when we do laugh at it, when it becomes a punchline... or is completely forgotten about. One of the two.
I didn't really mean to go off on the shooting in quite that way. Obviously, the hypocrisy of the National Tragedy vs. all the other comparable "unimportant" tragedy was something that had me riled up all week, especially after the White House Correspondent's Dinner. But it wasn't until I was putting the show together that I realized I had a couple other songs that were songs about actual school shootings.
When it hit me how nearly everyone of a certain age has sung, "I Don't Like Mondays" including most of the people who have lost their minds over this National Tragedy, the absurdity of that was like a slap in the face and I had to push hard in the opposite direction.
So far, no one has actually complained but I wouldn't exactly blame them if they did. It may have been a bit much.
I had thought of the Hey Cho bit as soon as I heard his name. I thought of another similar parody too but had decided early on that either one would be too insensitive even for me. If it wasn't for the Sunday chat shows and the over analysis of the whole thing, the politicizing of it by both sides, I would've just made it a short little pre-best of show.
I was pretty well whupped from the extremely harsh work week. I really had planned on not mentioning the shootings at all. The best laid plans, eh?
Anyway, I'm sorry if it was too soon for anyone but it is true that there will be a time when we do laugh at it, when it becomes a punchline... or is completely forgotten about. One of the two.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Nothing to say but something to see
Still exahusted. Still looking to pass out any second now.
But first, you have to dig this poster Death and Taxes: A Visual Guide to Where Your Federal Tax Dollars Go
This may not be a website where you can actually see your literal contribution to each agency but it is the next best thing and quite impressive in it's own right. I can only assume that next weeks show will be less preachy and the best of shows are very entertaining. At least for me they are.
But first, you have to dig this poster Death and Taxes: A Visual Guide to Where Your Federal Tax Dollars Go
This may not be a website where you can actually see your literal contribution to each agency but it is the next best thing and quite impressive in it's own right. I can only assume that next weeks show will be less preachy and the best of shows are very entertaining. At least for me they are.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Oh you say men rule the world but...
Coming up on this weekends show:
It occured to me this morning as I was thinking about writing a classic "the sexes don't understand each other" kind of trite piece of crap blog entry that if men really did rule the world, our economic system would be based on semen.
The dollar wouldn't be tied to the gold standard, the silver standard, or the GNP, it would be tied to semen. Any healthy man would be guaranteed a certain amount of sustainable income based on his ability to produce it and women would be guaranteed an even higher amount of sustainable income based on men's constant desire to share our semen.
Obviously, you'd still need to have some other form of representational currency. If you had to bust a nut every time you wanted to buy a pack of gum at the 7-11, the line would be out the door (and it probably wouldn't be especially sanitary) but if you were ever really short on cash, you could always make a little bit of money for yourself by thinking about Raquel Welsh.
Now, I know what you're thinking. except for making new life, semen isn't especially valuable. But neither was gold really. Gold is valuable now because of it's conductive properties with electronics but before the modern age it was only valuable because we decided it was. Sure, gold is a hell of a lot rarer then semen but it's much easier to keep in your pocket, so semen still stands up as valuable.
Women would have virtually no place except as sex objects and baby makers.
The fact that our system isn't nearly as misogynistic as the semen based society doesn't prove that Men don't in fact rule the world of course, it only proves that it wasn't a conscious effort on men's part to rule the world. If we had really set out to make a perfect society for us, the semen system would be way more advantageous than our current system.
- hindsight on Imus
- Where did your taxes go?
- Brand Loyalty Marriage (and divorce)
- Cute Furry Piranhas
- Much Much More?
It occured to me this morning as I was thinking about writing a classic "the sexes don't understand each other" kind of trite piece of crap blog entry that if men really did rule the world, our economic system would be based on semen.
The dollar wouldn't be tied to the gold standard, the silver standard, or the GNP, it would be tied to semen. Any healthy man would be guaranteed a certain amount of sustainable income based on his ability to produce it and women would be guaranteed an even higher amount of sustainable income based on men's constant desire to share our semen.
Obviously, you'd still need to have some other form of representational currency. If you had to bust a nut every time you wanted to buy a pack of gum at the 7-11, the line would be out the door (and it probably wouldn't be especially sanitary) but if you were ever really short on cash, you could always make a little bit of money for yourself by thinking about Raquel Welsh.
Now, I know what you're thinking. except for making new life, semen isn't especially valuable. But neither was gold really. Gold is valuable now because of it's conductive properties with electronics but before the modern age it was only valuable because we decided it was. Sure, gold is a hell of a lot rarer then semen but it's much easier to keep in your pocket, so semen still stands up as valuable.
Women would have virtually no place except as sex objects and baby makers.
The fact that our system isn't nearly as misogynistic as the semen based society doesn't prove that Men don't in fact rule the world of course, it only proves that it wasn't a conscious effort on men's part to rule the world. If we had really set out to make a perfect society for us, the semen system would be way more advantageous than our current system.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Helpful Hints For The Post Modern Consumer
You may have noticed that Helpful Hints contained an awful lot of 60's Shopping Music style stuff. That really wound up being the basis for everything on the show.
It all started with Steve Dahl. Chicago Radio: The Steve Dahl Show on WCKG I grew up listening to Steve Dahl and I still listen via Podcast even though I'm no longer in Chicago. Last week he was talking about how he had been searching for the Capitol Hi-Q series of production music from the 60's and how he'd found something similar on a Swedish Blog but he never mentioned the URL for the blog.
So I wrote him, my idol, asking for the link. As a sidenote I once got thrown off the air for being too much like Steve Dahl. It's always the idols who get you into trouble that you appreciate the best. I wanted to offer him something in exchange so I told him about the Smithsonian Folkways' Background Music for Home Movies CDs from 1961 and 1962 which can be found on MP3 music downloads at eMusic cheaply or through the Smithsonian Folkways website for almost twenty bucks a pop.
In the matter of two hours Steve had written back giving me the link. Ultra Swank - Lifestyle Adventures
And there they have a couple CD's worth of currently unavailable shopping style music. And if you like that kind of thing, you can find a lot of links to other sites that share unreleased lounge music, much of which will be featured on future shows.
Anyway, as I was listening to these wonderful tracks, I started talking over them and everything on the show came from middle of the night improvisations on the first listenings of these wonderful tracks.
About half of the time I write pieces based on the music and half of the time the music comes along after the first edit of a piece and then I edit the rest of the piece to fit the music.
I think the reason these particular pieces were so dark is because the weather went from 80 degrees to snow in a day. When the weather is nice, I get prolific and when the weather is ugly, I get dark. Combine the two kinds of weather together and you get a lot of small ugly pieces put together.
The one exception to that is the Ben Cohen piece which is just a reaction to a Ted Nugent interview I heard. I love the Nuge's music and his crazy ass, march to the beat of a different drum, energy but he is the biggest blowhard on the planet too. Plus, I had some really good Pink Lady apples.
It all started with Steve Dahl. Chicago Radio: The Steve Dahl Show on WCKG I grew up listening to Steve Dahl and I still listen via Podcast even though I'm no longer in Chicago. Last week he was talking about how he had been searching for the Capitol Hi-Q series of production music from the 60's and how he'd found something similar on a Swedish Blog but he never mentioned the URL for the blog.
So I wrote him, my idol, asking for the link. As a sidenote I once got thrown off the air for being too much like Steve Dahl. It's always the idols who get you into trouble that you appreciate the best. I wanted to offer him something in exchange so I told him about the Smithsonian Folkways' Background Music for Home Movies CDs from 1961 and 1962 which can be found on MP3 music downloads at eMusic cheaply or through the Smithsonian Folkways website for almost twenty bucks a pop.
In the matter of two hours Steve had written back giving me the link. Ultra Swank - Lifestyle Adventures
And there they have a couple CD's worth of currently unavailable shopping style music. And if you like that kind of thing, you can find a lot of links to other sites that share unreleased lounge music, much of which will be featured on future shows.
Anyway, as I was listening to these wonderful tracks, I started talking over them and everything on the show came from middle of the night improvisations on the first listenings of these wonderful tracks.
About half of the time I write pieces based on the music and half of the time the music comes along after the first edit of a piece and then I edit the rest of the piece to fit the music.
I think the reason these particular pieces were so dark is because the weather went from 80 degrees to snow in a day. When the weather is nice, I get prolific and when the weather is ugly, I get dark. Combine the two kinds of weather together and you get a lot of small ugly pieces put together.
The one exception to that is the Ben Cohen piece which is just a reaction to a Ted Nugent interview I heard. I love the Nuge's music and his crazy ass, march to the beat of a different drum, energy but he is the biggest blowhard on the planet too. Plus, I had some really good Pink Lady apples.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
It's like winning... but it's not.
Coming up on this weekend's show:
As a liberal I feel it's my duty to stand up for the little guy. It is in that vein that I feel obliged to stand up for George W. Bush, our president and one of the most unpopular people in the world.
For all his faults, President Bush has done nearly all the things that truly great leaders do. His problem isn't so much with his methodology as with his results.
Just this week, he bravely broke with the tradition of throwing out the first pitch at the start of the baseball season. Not since 1910 has any President declined this honor bestowed by our national past time. Sure, some people think that this was an act of cowardice; that his abysmally low poll ratings ensured that he would step out onto the field to a cacophony of boos and public humiliation. I see it as an act of bravery. Clinton wasn't so bold as to leave baseball to the experts, neither was Reagan or Roosevelt or even Nixon. Give the man his due, he's taking this presidency to a whole new level.
Look at his unprecedented appointment of Sam Fox to be Ambassador of Belgium. When Sam Fox, Swift Boat ad creator and huge Republican cash cow was rejected by the Senate, Bush just waited until they went on recess and made him a recess appointment. No president has ever thought to do this before. In fact no president has ever made a recess appointment until after 14 days had past. Anyone else would've thought that it was unseemly or would be un-ethical but Bush knew it was the only way to return a favor to a man who had donated so much money and so he pushed on through to meet his objective without regard to appearances or tradition. Hey it's legal, that's good enough for The President and should be good enough for us.
Likewise this whole Attorney General scandal is also perfectly legal. Any other president could've replaced prosecutors mid-term and for political reasons, they just weren't bold or decisive enough to do so. That past presidents were too timid to exercise their power is no reason to punish Bush.
These are all the kinds of things that great men have done from time to time. Look at FDR who, many think, allowed Pearl Harbor to be attacked in order to get around the Republican isolationists who refused to let him fight Hitler. That was totally unethical and probably illegal and we revere him for his bold leadership.
The only difference between bold men like Roosevelt, Lincoln, or even Kennedy is that when they made bold moves of questionable ethics and legality, it worked. We, the people, will put up with all manner of power grabbing, backroom dealing and downright criminal behavior from our leaders when they do a good job. Great men take great risks and succeed and we love them for it. Bush has taken great risks, the only thing separating him from greatness is that he consistently makes a big gamble or takes a big risk and then screws it all up. Theoretically, he's making bold moves and re-defining the presidency just like all the greats did. It's only the small matter of his continual failure that keeps him from success.
- Quitting Smoking
- Five steps to dealing with hangovers
- Zen Koans with Ben Cohen
- Career Advice
- The Car of The Future
- Much Much More?
As a liberal I feel it's my duty to stand up for the little guy. It is in that vein that I feel obliged to stand up for George W. Bush, our president and one of the most unpopular people in the world.
For all his faults, President Bush has done nearly all the things that truly great leaders do. His problem isn't so much with his methodology as with his results.
Just this week, he bravely broke with the tradition of throwing out the first pitch at the start of the baseball season. Not since 1910 has any President declined this honor bestowed by our national past time. Sure, some people think that this was an act of cowardice; that his abysmally low poll ratings ensured that he would step out onto the field to a cacophony of boos and public humiliation. I see it as an act of bravery. Clinton wasn't so bold as to leave baseball to the experts, neither was Reagan or Roosevelt or even Nixon. Give the man his due, he's taking this presidency to a whole new level.
Look at his unprecedented appointment of Sam Fox to be Ambassador of Belgium. When Sam Fox, Swift Boat ad creator and huge Republican cash cow was rejected by the Senate, Bush just waited until they went on recess and made him a recess appointment. No president has ever thought to do this before. In fact no president has ever made a recess appointment until after 14 days had past. Anyone else would've thought that it was unseemly or would be un-ethical but Bush knew it was the only way to return a favor to a man who had donated so much money and so he pushed on through to meet his objective without regard to appearances or tradition. Hey it's legal, that's good enough for The President and should be good enough for us.
Likewise this whole Attorney General scandal is also perfectly legal. Any other president could've replaced prosecutors mid-term and for political reasons, they just weren't bold or decisive enough to do so. That past presidents were too timid to exercise their power is no reason to punish Bush.
These are all the kinds of things that great men have done from time to time. Look at FDR who, many think, allowed Pearl Harbor to be attacked in order to get around the Republican isolationists who refused to let him fight Hitler. That was totally unethical and probably illegal and we revere him for his bold leadership.
The only difference between bold men like Roosevelt, Lincoln, or even Kennedy is that when they made bold moves of questionable ethics and legality, it worked. We, the people, will put up with all manner of power grabbing, backroom dealing and downright criminal behavior from our leaders when they do a good job. Great men take great risks and succeed and we love them for it. Bush has taken great risks, the only thing separating him from greatness is that he consistently makes a big gamble or takes a big risk and then screws it all up. Theoretically, he's making bold moves and re-defining the presidency just like all the greats did. It's only the small matter of his continual failure that keeps him from success.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Brilliant Ideas commentary track
Wearios - this came from the incongruous sight of a box of cheerios in a store window next to a bunch of piled up t-shirts. I immediately said, "Wearios" and first thought that it might make for a kind of edible chain mail and then of course my mind went to the risque' Oat Bran I think is because Whole Foods just opened around here and I've been thinking about healthy stuff.
Intro - I seriously can't get all 12 minutes of this song out of my head
Printing on Cereal - Obviously this turned into a sort of Garrison Kellior rip off. It started with the idea of printing on cereal which quite literally came to me in a dream. I've been waking up early lately because now that there is a Whole Foods nearby, I've been keeping espresso in the house. Where I used to slap the snooze alarm, I now am lured to the cappuccino that awaits in the kitchen.
A few days the Cappuccino was pulling me awake while I was still dreaming so I wrote down my dreams as I was waking up. The notion of a cereal printer was one of those ideas.
Printing on Pasta was just a logical extension but I have a long history of combining pasta and art in brilliant ideas, including the stigmattaghetti which would have the sauce on the inside of the noodle, saving you a pot.
The Smorkle or smoking snorkle... came from a conversation I had but I'll be damned if I remember what it was about.
The Lucifer throughpoint just sort of popped out as I was telling the story. Looking back at it with the religious wife, the crazy childhood, the grand religious gesture and the smoking underwater, I think I was channeling or at least writing about Danny Bonaduce who has mentioned the idea of a diving bell for smoking without bothering people and is a troubled but entertaining fellow.
"I hope you fucking die" grows out of a fond affection I have for a friend of mine, "Eat shit and die". There's no deep meaning behind it or anything it's just fun to say really inappropriate things in the wrong tone.
Notice that the Pink Dye killed Jane and the preceeding spoken word piece was MAUVE. A theme? Not really.
You're the Cream in My Coffee - I figured that since we had started with two cereal pieces I might as well have some coffee with that. Plus, I just love Mel Tormé
Sandwich - This came from one of the 100 word story about sandwich. I thought this one was good enough to stand alone
The Sunni Side of the Street - I know most of you wish I'd sing less but I couldn't help myself. I'm actually a much better musician than you'd think but two things are working against me. I'm not especially good at playing with myself (insert joke here) and the other is I have a number of technical issues with my computer right now that make recording songs much more challenging than you'd think.
Lithium - this is another 100 word story that I think is getting short shrift in the competition. It uses real 2001 music and is mostly scientifically accurate except for the robot extracting lithium from batteries. That'd be a little bit backwards.
Fun fact: there is no pure Lithium occuring here on Earth? It's too reactive because it has three electrons. It's like Hydrogen if Hydrogen was a metal.
Intro - I seriously can't get all 12 minutes of this song out of my head
Printing on Cereal - Obviously this turned into a sort of Garrison Kellior rip off. It started with the idea of printing on cereal which quite literally came to me in a dream. I've been waking up early lately because now that there is a Whole Foods nearby, I've been keeping espresso in the house. Where I used to slap the snooze alarm, I now am lured to the cappuccino that awaits in the kitchen.
A few days the Cappuccino was pulling me awake while I was still dreaming so I wrote down my dreams as I was waking up. The notion of a cereal printer was one of those ideas.
Printing on Pasta was just a logical extension but I have a long history of combining pasta and art in brilliant ideas, including the stigmattaghetti which would have the sauce on the inside of the noodle, saving you a pot.
The Smorkle or smoking snorkle... came from a conversation I had but I'll be damned if I remember what it was about.
The Lucifer throughpoint just sort of popped out as I was telling the story. Looking back at it with the religious wife, the crazy childhood, the grand religious gesture and the smoking underwater, I think I was channeling or at least writing about Danny Bonaduce who has mentioned the idea of a diving bell for smoking without bothering people and is a troubled but entertaining fellow.
"I hope you fucking die" grows out of a fond affection I have for a friend of mine, "Eat shit and die". There's no deep meaning behind it or anything it's just fun to say really inappropriate things in the wrong tone.
Notice that the Pink Dye killed Jane and the preceeding spoken word piece was MAUVE. A theme? Not really.
You're the Cream in My Coffee - I figured that since we had started with two cereal pieces I might as well have some coffee with that. Plus, I just love Mel Tormé
Sandwich - This came from one of the 100 word story about sandwich. I thought this one was good enough to stand alone
The Sunni Side of the Street - I know most of you wish I'd sing less but I couldn't help myself. I'm actually a much better musician than you'd think but two things are working against me. I'm not especially good at playing with myself (insert joke here) and the other is I have a number of technical issues with my computer right now that make recording songs much more challenging than you'd think.
Lithium - this is another 100 word story that I think is getting short shrift in the competition. It uses real 2001 music and is mostly scientifically accurate except for the robot extracting lithium from batteries. That'd be a little bit backwards.
Fun fact: there is no pure Lithium occuring here on Earth? It's too reactive because it has three electrons. It's like Hydrogen if Hydrogen was a metal.
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