The Greatest Story Never Told

You don't really need any of this explained right?

It's mocking the whole 'OOOH SHINEY!' media culture we have going on right now, although to be fair, I don't really think that the media culture has ever been that much better really. Ask William Randolph Hearst. Anyway, I thought this would be a good way to point it out.

blog blog blog

Coming up on this weekend's show:

• no idea
• much much more?

Sorry kids, it's been another crazy ass week here in real life, I'm going through kind of a thing here which is taking an awful lot of my time and brain-power. Hopefully, I'll have something sorted for you by Sunday night. Oh and as for a rant here like I usually do uh... how about a generic WTF? just at everything?

Like Clockwork (recap)

Heard on the show:

1. Thrills - Cake
2. Soft Winds - Phil Bodner
3. Black Box Theme - Tom Waits
4. Mr. Helpmann - Michael Kamen
5. Talking in the Dark - Elvis Costello
6. Masters of War - The Gene Norman Group
7. Royal Jelly - John C. Reilly

• Intro - Obviously the windup that begins things and the announcer winding down are just there to set the overall clockwork theme. Ambercrombie and Felch is just a cheap ass gag.
• Robot Vacation - The beginning of this came as the song popped on my iPod at work. Obviously I was enjoying (ahem) the fluorescent, cold, factory, kind of conditions that the robot pined for. Work has been more than a little stressful lately and I sort of took a roundabout vacation by way of imagining a robot in a similar predicament.
  
• 3:00 AM - I was originally going to do a mock reality commercial of what it would be like to call the campaign headquarters at that hour but then TweetJeebus http://twitter.com/TweetJeebus posted the link to the Clinton interview on religion and as I was listening to it, I thought about her personal relationship with God. Also I kind of had a bit of Israel on the brain. It happens
• Safety Film - This came from watching, of all things, instructional films from the early part of the 20th century. I saw one about Anarchists and the commentary track mentioning how the fear of Anarchist terrorism caused a curtailing of civil liberties and crack down on immigration and thought, 'hmm... that sounds familiar'. Then I saw one about street safety from the 20's. Then later in The Economist www.economist.com I saw about the cost benefit analysis done on The War on Terror and it all sort of cemented.
• Vote Robot - this whole Robot Martian thing is heating up huh? coincidentally, it's also a great way of making fun of the political contest without really taking sides.
  

Dear Stupid People

Coming up on this weekends show:

Robots

And much much more?

Now gather round stupid people. If you're sure you are not a stupid person, you especially need to gather round because those who aren't unsure are usually the dumbest there are.

If you are not sure whether you qualify or not ask yourself these simple questions: Did I support the Iraq War? Did I believe that there were Weapons of Mass Destruction? Did I believe that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11? Did I believe that Saddam Hussein was harboring Al Qaeda?

If you answered yes to any of those, you are who I am speaking to. If you didn't answer yes, see you next time.

Now then my stupid friends, please be assured I am not trying to insult you. All of us are stupid in some things. If this was how to change a tire, I'd be the idiot and you'd probably be the condescending prick. Good for you. On this one, it's my turn so listen up, okay?

You have to stop whatever other foolishness you're about politically and support Barack Hussein Obama. Now you may initially balk at this but there are two kinds of people when it comes to politics those who scare easily and who believe the latest in the media's swirling maelstrom and people who pay at least a little attention to things. You have proven to be in the wrong category to make your own decisions on this one, so just do as the smart people do, Support Senator Obama.

Hilary Rodham Clinton wants to be president more than anyone else in the whole wide world, she wants to be president so badly she is willing to use political tactics which she should be above. She is using negative campaign advertising. She is making statements about Mr. Obama that Senator McCain will use to attack Obama with in the fall. She has spread outright lies, innuendo, and attempted to so smear her opponent that she might as well be wearing a McCain in '08 pin in her lapel.

To many, such tactics would seem like business as usual or being a tough fighter. There are however two problems with such tactics: the last eight years has shown us what that kind of thinking gets us and the candidate who just wants to win at all costs isn't thinking anymore about what they'll do if they win.

Yes, there are some people who will be scared to vote for a black man, they're a pathetic minority. Yes, it would be nice to have a woman elected president and yes we are overdue. Yes, Clinton could conceivably win the nomination if she scares enough super delegates but at this point it's almost impossible for her to win on votes alone. Yes, she has every right to fight on. She also has every right to register as a Republican and vote for McCain in New York if she chooses. They are essentially the same thing at this point.

Also there are the small matters of her voting for the war, being against free speech and not being against torture but hey, those positions got John McCain his party's nomination, so wouldn't they win Hilary hers?

Yeah, I know, this is a painful polemic that nobody in there right mind would read after the insulting intro but still, there are a number of stupid easily fooled and frightened people who should be encouraged to listen to someone smarter. It's what you do at the doctor's office, mechanic, or even restaurant. Why not trust the people who are smarter about politics than you?

For the Ladies (recap)

Heard on this show:

• Hey Ladies - Beastie Boys
• She's a Lady - Patricia Barber
• I am Nothing - Nellie McKay

• Enhancitrol: It just struck me that 'intimacy' problems, especially in older people might be more hindered than helped by more sex.
• Intro: I know the harmonies didn't match the Isaac Hayes. What can you do?
• Katy's Blog: It struck me when laurence Simon www.isfullofcrap.com got hit by a motorcycle that it would be amusing if he had had something on the website www.death.isfullofcrap.com and then I thought of what could be there? The rest was just that concept's logical conclusion. Initially I was going to have a female actually record the parts but the person I recruited flaked. Hence the bad female impersonation on my part
• Helen Keller's Helpful Hints: I don't remember why this struck me as such a horribly funny idea.
• CGI The Movie: Came from watching trailers for that 10,000 years BC. which I thought was a Ringo Starr movie but what do I know? I hate when it looks like a movie is all CGI. Never saw 300 because of it, don't like the Lord of the Rings movies because of it. Maybe I'm just an old crank. I like movies to have people in them not computer graphics.
• Perilous Times: I like looking at biblical verse because it's so weird. This is a real biblical verse and obviously when I saw Perilous Times, it seemed like a newspaper to me.
• Vote Mars: This is the start of what I hope will be my crowning acheivement of a running gag

another cheap anti clinton attack so I can seem like I'm MSM

From the NYT:

Her campaign “is just hitting its stride,” Mrs. Clinton said, even though she has been running for well over a year, in a race that has gone on longer than anyone expected. “We’re just beginning to draw those contrasts and those differences and that’s when voters start to zero in,” she said, expressing optimism despite 11 straight losses to Mr. Obama in recent contests.

So if she's just beginning to hit her stride after a year plus, how is this supposed to convince us she'll be ready on day one?

I understand it's still close no matter how you judge, delagates, super delagates, states, popular votes but at what point does it go from Sen. Clinton being a 'fighter' to Sen. Clinton is trying to hand this thing to Sen. McCain?

The odds of her winning by enough to make up for lost ground are not good. It's not impossible but it is increasingly improbable. Unless tonight is an unforseen routing of Sen. Obama, shouldn't she hang it up already?



And yes, In all fairness, I should point out that because of her votes on the war, torture, and the first amendment, I wouldn't vote for Sen. Clinton if she was running against another Bush. So I am not strictly unbiased in my writing. But still, if you are a Clinton supporter and Obama had lost 11 straight and was this far down in delegates this late, wouldn't you want him to hang it up?