I went to the men's room today at work, like a person who drinks his weight in soda every day is wont to do. I overheard some loud conversation coming from the bathroom as I approached the door so I figured that whoever was talking was on their way out. I waited a beat so as to not smack anyone with a door but they didn't come out. I opened the door cautiously and went in.
What I saw was two of the three stalls occupied by a couple of guys shitting profusely all the while talking about "The Lord". Seriously, imagine the old SNL bit with the Superfans talking about, "Da Bears" but replace that with, "Da Lord" and you have some idea of how this conversation was going in between farts, splashes paper rolls and dribbles.
One guy finished just as I was shaking and zipping at the urinal. As I approached the sink he looked at me as if to say, "What the fuck?" and I asked myself why is he looking at me like that when he's the creepy one here.
As I faced myself in the mirror I saw why. My face was frozen in horror from the whole affair. No matter how odious his behaviour may have been, no wonder he looked at me strange when I was looking at him as if I had just seen wolves raping ninjas wearing pink berets.
Remind me never to start playing poker, okay?
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