Private Dicks

First of all, I have to show you this:
Aren't they the cutest couple?

Coming up on this week's show:

• Offensive Cereal
• Gay Cops
• The Coke Challenge
• And Much Much More!

It occurred to me this week that if you take the stylized verbiage of classic pulp crime fiction and throw homosexuality into it, there's an awful lot of unintended double entendre. You could probably stage dramatizations of old noir tales with an obviously gay lead and get laughs for days.

Think about the lingo: There's a lot of talk about partners, "When a guy's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it.", Rods, "I felt his rod press into my back and did what he said.", Dicks, "A chill went through me when I saw those dicks enter the room; I had to do something fast.", plus guys getting fingered, guys getting pinched, guys taking it on the chin and going down hard, and just about everybody has to blow sooner or later.

It wouldn't be at all out of place for someone to incorporate it all into a narrative like this. "When I saw the dick, I knew someone had squawked and I had been fingered. I grabbed my rod and let him know he was going to have it hard if he tried to pinch me. The seamus came closer and took it hard on the chin and went down. I knew right then I had to blow and blow good if I wanted to stay out of the can."

Thank god for the Hayes code, eh?