Ladies and Gentlemen,
I apologize for my recent absence from both the blog and the podcast but sometimes real life gets in the way of the creative life. I won't bore you with the details but you can always scour the internet for my other personal blog where the details are there in agonizing blow by blow action.
Anyway, spring has sprung and I'm all backed up on material. As I have mentioned a time or two in the past I am like a manic depressive but with weather. The sunnier and warmer it is, the more ideas and energy I have and of course the flipside is that through the long, cold winter I struggled like hell to come up with anything for the shows.
This weekends show will primarily feature brilliant ideas, as I've had a lot of them recently. It will also feature some edible underwear and probably a story or two so be sure to dig on that.
And now there's a little bit of business to take care of. Would you please go into the iTunes music store and review the show? It doesn't have to be a good review but it'd be very gratifying to me personally to know that someone cares enough to say something.
Lastly, I'm running out of space on the server so I'm going to have to begin archiving old shows soon. So if you want to download them for posterity, bootleg them on the internet or turn people on to the show from it's inception, now is the time.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I have seen the future and brother it is murder
Coming up on this weeks show:
I just want to take credit here for being a soothsayer. I'm assuming that if you're reading this you listen to the program. Did I not hit the nail on the Gays In The Military head just a day before General Peter Pace starting up the Military V. Gay debate all over again?
Speaking of that, am I the only one who is so paranoid as to think that this was done on purpose? It seems to me like the fallout from Pace's comments have all but pushed the Walter Reed Scandal, The FBI Lying About Investigation Scandal, and the Libby Scandal. Thank goodness that the Attorney General Scandal still has staying power against something as distracting as our institutional hatred of homosexuality.
But that's not all I want to take credit for being a soothsayer about. Back when all those Christian Pharmacists were in the news for denying women their Emergency Contraception and they were claiming that firing them for not doing their job was religious persecution, I blogged in my LiveJournal (aka personal) blog about the logical extension of that being Muslims and Jews refusing to ring up bacon at your supermarket. Everybody laughed but then a year or so later, it's come true. http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/mar/14/some_muslim_cashiers_refuse_handle_pork/
And this seems to be drawing more ire than pharmacists refusing to fill prescriptions, which boggles my mind.
Of course now that I know I have this awesome power of divination, I'm officially predicting that in the next week I'll be seduced by no fewer than three buxom redheads, (dyed or natural I'm not too picky) and that someone will come along who wants to pay me for being amusing so I can quit my day job.
We'll see how that works out I guess. I smell a streak being broken.
- A command performance of "Smoke Smoke Smoke (That Cigarette)"
- For Them By Them
- Some Terrible Puns (I Think)
I just want to take credit here for being a soothsayer. I'm assuming that if you're reading this you listen to the program. Did I not hit the nail on the Gays In The Military head just a day before General Peter Pace starting up the Military V. Gay debate all over again?
Speaking of that, am I the only one who is so paranoid as to think that this was done on purpose? It seems to me like the fallout from Pace's comments have all but pushed the Walter Reed Scandal, The FBI Lying About Investigation Scandal, and the Libby Scandal. Thank goodness that the Attorney General Scandal still has staying power against something as distracting as our institutional hatred of homosexuality.
But that's not all I want to take credit for being a soothsayer about. Back when all those Christian Pharmacists were in the news for denying women their Emergency Contraception and they were claiming that firing them for not doing their job was religious persecution, I blogged in my LiveJournal (aka personal) blog about the logical extension of that being Muslims and Jews refusing to ring up bacon at your supermarket. Everybody laughed but then a year or so later, it's come true. http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/mar/14/some_muslim_cashiers_refuse_handle_pork/
And this seems to be drawing more ire than pharmacists refusing to fill prescriptions, which boggles my mind.
Of course now that I know I have this awesome power of divination, I'm officially predicting that in the next week I'll be seduced by no fewer than three buxom redheads, (dyed or natural I'm not too picky) and that someone will come along who wants to pay me for being amusing so I can quit my day job.
We'll see how that works out I guess. I smell a streak being broken.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Another Week Another Republican Conviction
Coming up on this week's show:
I was thinking about the Anti-Abortion people and how they're defeating their own purpose. If they let all the people who don't share their views, not pass those values down to their offspring by allowing them to not have offspring, while they breed like christian rabbits, eventually abortion will become a moot point.
Which reminded me of Eugenics in general and a strange fact about the Bush family. Our President's grandfather, Prescott Bush, was one of the key proponents of Planned Parenthood back in its early days. Why? Was Prescott Bush a social progressive? No. He wanted to make sure that lower classes and minorities didn't breed. He supported reproductive health in exactly the way his grandson doesn't just because he believed in Eugenics.
Politics makes strange bedfellows, eh?
- Private Security Firms Recruiting Strangely
- Mike Ness Goes Lounge
- God Makes You Violent
- God Makes You Scared of Violence
- Much Much More?
I was thinking about the Anti-Abortion people and how they're defeating their own purpose. If they let all the people who don't share their views, not pass those values down to their offspring by allowing them to not have offspring, while they breed like christian rabbits, eventually abortion will become a moot point.
Which reminded me of Eugenics in general and a strange fact about the Bush family. Our President's grandfather, Prescott Bush, was one of the key proponents of Planned Parenthood back in its early days. Why? Was Prescott Bush a social progressive? No. He wanted to make sure that lower classes and minorities didn't breed. He supported reproductive health in exactly the way his grandson doesn't just because he believed in Eugenics.
Politics makes strange bedfellows, eh?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
drive by update
Sorry about the lack of a show last weekend I had written some stuff but I just wasn't feeling it. It wasn't all that good. But we'll be back with a great show this weekend. So far I've got about 15 minutes recorded. We've got Happy Talk, The worst bible verses, and Unhappy Talk so far.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Me and Tennis Anyone?
Coming up on this week's show:
- Me and Jesus
- Me and The Devil
- Me and Bobby McGhee
- Me and Henry Winkler
Did you see that Wimbledon has finally equalized pay for men and women? They were the last of the major tennis tournaments to do so. I don't get this. Do we really want equality in pay everywhere or not?
Women should be making way more than men for Tennis. Who wants to see guys running back in forth in those little white shorts? In porn, women make way more than men because people want to see the women and don't care about the men, isn't tennis like that?
Isn't that the same argument they make for other women's sports, that there isn't as much demand for ladies doing that job? I'm cool with this either way, I think but it's time to set things straight once and for all, either we should shoot for total equality or go for supply and demand. Which is it? Well paid men in porn or poorly paid women in the WNBA? I could go either way on this one.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Top Of The World, Ma!
Coming up on this weekends show (if I can speak, sing or even breathe):
- The Morbid Tabernacle Choir (it'll get finished some day)
- A Triple X version of West Side Story
- A song that was featured on a NATIONAL RADIO SHOW
Folks,
I'm still rattling around at death's door here which is a shame because most of my ideas in the last couple of weeks have been musical. For example, on Tuesday, I stayed home sick and listened to Penn Jillette's radio show over the computer. www.pennradio.com and they were talking about Lisa Marie Nowak, the astronaut who drove 900 miles in an adult diaper to confront the girlfriend of the man she had a thing for.
Penn began wondering what she listened to on the drive and then Penn had the idea that there ought to be a pop song encouraging people to NOT to do anything crazy which is the opposite of the other do something crazy songs like I Want You, Crazy, 500 miles, etc. So I wrote one.
I wrote the lyrics and emailed them asking if they wanted to actually hear the song then I went back to sleep. Remember I'm sick as hell over here. I checked my email right before I was going back to sleep around 11:00PM and there was an email from Michael Goudeau, Penn's radio sidekick saying I should send the MP3 along.
This meant actually recording it, rather in haste, half asleep and sounding like Dylan. Which I did and sent in, somewhat sheepishly, figuring they'd not waste the time to go back to yesterday's show. But they did.
They not only practically opened the show talking about the song but then they couldn't play it right away so it didn't actually get played till half way through the show at about the 21 minute mark and then they mispronounced my name and didn't plug my website.
Still, they liked it and Penn Jillette has officially laughed at my jokes. Which is nice. You can check it out here: http://podcast.penn.freefm.com/penn/181197.mp3 The song is at about the 21 minute mark but the whole show is good and they mention me not by name a whole lot early on in a way that caused me great anxiety.
If I get my voice back, I might just record a fresher version of the song for y'all for this weekend.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
50, 000 Idiots Can't Be Wrong
Coming up on this weekends show:
nothing. At least I have nothing written, hopefully between now and then the muse will strike. Currently my brain is so scrambled by my day job Danny Thomas just called and wants me to rest my head on his glass coffee table. Ugh!
Many public transportation centers have areas that smell like urine but here in Cleveland we've got it down to an artform. Where most cities have neglected staircases that stink of hobo pee, here at our train stations they piss in the elevators. The stink factor in an enclosed elevator vs an open air staircase is mind boggling. In the minute it takes to take such a ride you wind up feeling as if your very essence, your soul is permeated with piss.
However, someone has finally done something about it at at least one train station. They've put some of that urinal cake stuff in the corner of the elevator. Admittedly, it's still pretty disgusting but it's nowhere near as disgusting as the elevator without the urinal cake and I think we need to applaud this kind of brave thinking. Many people would scowl at such a thing as admitting defeat. Many people would insist that the only solution would involve stopping people from pissing in the elevators. Sometimes the only way to win is to change the rules. I'm not trying to make this post an allegory about the Iraq war or anything but sometimes it's important to see that it's not always just a choice between victory and defeat.
And while we're thinking outside the box here tonight, why don't we napalm our frozen sidewalks? Surely that would be an effective way to melt all the snow and ice and much safer than making people walk on slick paths where they can fall into the street, slipping on slick ice hidden under newly fallen snow.
nothing. At least I have nothing written, hopefully between now and then the muse will strike. Currently my brain is so scrambled by my day job Danny Thomas just called and wants me to rest my head on his glass coffee table. Ugh!
Many public transportation centers have areas that smell like urine but here in Cleveland we've got it down to an artform. Where most cities have neglected staircases that stink of hobo pee, here at our train stations they piss in the elevators. The stink factor in an enclosed elevator vs an open air staircase is mind boggling. In the minute it takes to take such a ride you wind up feeling as if your very essence, your soul is permeated with piss.
However, someone has finally done something about it at at least one train station. They've put some of that urinal cake stuff in the corner of the elevator. Admittedly, it's still pretty disgusting but it's nowhere near as disgusting as the elevator without the urinal cake and I think we need to applaud this kind of brave thinking. Many people would scowl at such a thing as admitting defeat. Many people would insist that the only solution would involve stopping people from pissing in the elevators. Sometimes the only way to win is to change the rules. I'm not trying to make this post an allegory about the Iraq war or anything but sometimes it's important to see that it's not always just a choice between victory and defeat.
And while we're thinking outside the box here tonight, why don't we napalm our frozen sidewalks? Surely that would be an effective way to melt all the snow and ice and much safer than making people walk on slick paths where they can fall into the street, slipping on slick ice hidden under newly fallen snow.
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